Identifying with the patzer

The dictionary will tell you that ‘patzer’ means ‘amateur chess player’. However in this piece of reflection, I’ll extend it to mean all idiots and the not so intelligent - outside of the game of chess.

I’ve been observing a phenomenon, where in general, the amateur finds some degree of camaraderie with a group of people. That situation will normally arise where the expert bludgeons the apparent idiot with facts and evidence, to the point where the patzer will need to cower.

What would then happen is that others will ignore the expert and enquire of the patzer if s/he is okay, support her and get her back on her feet. She’ll be treated as a victim, instead of as a felon deserving of punishment.

Why I know about this? I’m used to suffering idiots with their own idiotic logic. It’s simple really. The technique is to use the evidence of what they say to put in opposition two things that cannot co-exist. So you can’t move left and right, forward and backward at the same time – one has to prevail. What would then happen is that the patzer will realise that left nor right are options. Cornered – now waiting to be bludgeoned. Now the patzer sees zugswang in sight, cannot move – a thing cannot be the one and it’s opposite at the same time. That is the simplest form of logic in most situations.

And that is when rescue tends to come. Instead of the crowd descending on the idiot and finishing her off – what to they do? They provide comfort and support. And that is the world I see. But in an futuristic world – my fantasy world - such beings with such logic would be eliminated. I yearn for another time, another space.

The definitive idiot’s guide to causing yourself stress and failure.

Yes after years of careful research into the human condition I've now come up with the 'Definitive Idiot's Guide' to causing yourself stress!

Well, they say every little helps. I've been motivated to write this because I see so many people trying so hard to cause themselves stress, that I decided I needed to provide a practical guide.

The way I see it, if you're gonna do it do it; do it well - and have a reference manual as well.

1. Waste your time. I mean seek out ways to convince yourself that you're working productively - but in reality spread out the work so that it consumes any time available. Don't just confine this to work. Apply it in every aspect of your life.
2. Never plan anything. Just go with the flow. Do it - whatever - any old time. Unleash your creativity on life!
3. Watch loads of TV and listen to the radio all the time.
4. Drink yourself drunk on a Sunday night, so you're properly hung over on a Monday morning.
5. Believe that God or some other mystical being will guide you to the promised land.
6. Reject any helpful suggestion to improve your life or performance. After all everybody is against you.
7. Be stubborn – not just average ‘stubborn’ – I mean reject anything that causes you any discomfort.
8. Hang out with idiots – I mean seek them out and gain support from them.
9. Blame everybody else for your life’s problems:
   1. you’re overweight – it’s your parents’ genes that caused it.
   2. you don’t have enough money – well you don’t spend anything really, and you earn too much money – so ‘what the heck’s the matter with the world?’ you must ask yourself.
10. Forget what happened yesterday or months ago. What do you care? All that matters is tomorrow.

Well it’s a work in progress – and there is no deadline. So this idiot’s guide has to live up to it’s principles. I’ll finish it any old time. How’s that?

Perceptions of perceptions.

Like huh? Well, one can never be 100% sure what others think of you (i.e. me). People basically don’t tell (by words) all of what they think – for umpteen reasons.

So I’ve been asking myself what do others really think of me. I cannot be 100% correct either because I can never truly know what is in the mind of the other. Which then leads to another question, why should it matter what others think of me.

How does one come to know what the other thinks? It’s easy enough if they say something. But because they won’t actually say what’s on their minds I’m left to make inferences based on conduct and non-verbals.

Perhaps I should deal with that question first. I imagine the following reasons are relevant:

1. We live in a very complex social world. It is extremely difficult to swim alone against the ‘tide’. We are by nature animals that live in herds and isolation from the herd means less survival advantage. Isolation can come not simply by physical distance from the herd. Psychological distance matters very much more than physical distance. What others think of you is a marker of psychological proximity or distance.
2. Psychological proximity – how truly close others are to you – provides a sense of readiness to offer support.
3. That readiness of support from others brings a sense of security – largely against all life’s unpredictables and threats.

I’ve avoided reasons that have to do with any form of narcissism; reducing the ‘what others think of me’ to how it might affect ‘me’ in most basic of ways.

Non-verbals

Actions and non-verbals speak louder than words. Really – the research proves it. In fact communication experts have known it for years that 70% or so of meaning is transmitted by non-verbal means (body language) as it is commonly called. As the years roll by experience has thought me that my assessment of non-verbals has grown more accurate. How do I know? I’ve reflected carefully on voice patterns, breathing patterns whilst people speak, eye contact, body movements etc.

I also work amongst people who are aware of non-verbals and who may even try to mask what they ‘give away’ – so in a sense I’ve been ‘trained’ to look under the ‘psychological armour’ of those who have a better chance of concealing their innermost thoughts and feelings.

Knowing

I pay a high degree of attention to detail. My perspective of people in general is that they don’t like paying too much attention to detail. In some circles I hang, people who pay attention to detail are simply labelled as ‘obsessive’ – even though extreme attention to detail is required! In that attention to detail, inconsistencies between what is said, how it is said, and other corroborative details, often leads to a picture that I’m not getting the full picture – or the truth. In one other circle of work my skill in detecting those inconsistencies are used to full potential and I am valued.

Disrobed

Ever had a dream that you went to work naked? It is a very common dream. For those who have had such a dream, recall how awkward it felt. Conversing with me is like being naked psychologically. I will pick up more than you care to allow others to see – and the worse part is that I won’t let on that I’ve seen something of you that you cared to conceal.

For those who do not know of my professional status, they are happily ignorant. It’s like standing next to a guy and you didn’t actually know he had on ‘X-ray specs’ and was actually seeing under your clothes. But what when you discover that he does have on X-ray specs? Ooooh..that’s uncomfortable. And interestingly people in general believe that their minds cannot be read. Well that’s true in the literal sense of those words, however, peoples values, motives, perceptions, honesty/dishonesty, economy with the truth etc can be read. It happens every day – read what’s in the political news some time. Well - I'm cool with close 'others' knowing that I'm delusional and that I have no special powers to see 'under their clothes' - the better the 'view' for me!

Summary

So in essence to be near to someone who has on X-ray specs 24/7 is not easy. Everyday life from my perception depends heavily (too) on people not being as honest as they make out.

We don’t expect others to ask questions about each inconsistency or flaw in the logical sequence of our thoughts. But to be next to someone who might spot such flaws is to be ‘naked’ – even if they say nothing of the ‘nakedness’ they see.

But I’m sure my perception of inconsistency and lack of logical sequence is communicated to the other by non-verbal means, that I may not be aware of. The other will not relish that. Trust me, few like or can endure staying for prolonged periods under and X-ray machine or a microscope. 

The price of proximity to reality is probably isolation. However, I have no regrets. I value the former far more, than the camaraderie that comes from association with fools.

Still bewildered

I recently wrote about Disrespect for my Right to Privacy. So a couple days ago I received yet another email. But this one did not disrespect my privacy. Instead it contained the emails of 122 other individuals.

[I deviate to explain to the technologically challenged that I did not count each email address. I simply cut and pasted into Word processor, and did a CTRL + H, then did a ‘Replace’ on each @ symbol, after which a count comes up. Then I subtracted 2 from the count].

So I could not help but think, “Well, if each of those email addresses were the telephone numbers of those individuals what would I think?” Well I would think it is quite a despicable thing to do. I live on another planet where people in general don’t like their phone numbers being distributed to others en masse.

Like I’m in a perpetual state of shock why it seems ‘ok’ for others to distribute email addresses around, like it is nobody’s business. I mean how would you feel if you (person A) knew that in calling me on the phone, I was likely to take your phone number and whimsically, in another conversation with some other person (person B), take your phone number distribute it and our recorded telephone conversation to B and 121 other people? I don’t think that would go down well.

As I tell all who are close to me ‘Do not distribute my email address without my consent’, I think it is reasonable to request that they do not send me emails with loads of other people’s email addresses. It is the principle of the matter that is important. The principle is privacy. If I accept emails with loads of breaches (or what appears to be breaches) of privacy then I defeat my upholding the same principle.

It would seem ridiculous to say, “Okay, don’t do it to me but you can do it to others and I’ll say nothing.” The principle had no sense of direction – it simply applies.

A slice of heaven

Kurumba pavillion

Disregard of my right to privacy…and my time...by my so-called friends

I’ve been fighting a battle with people I know, some who would feel slighted if I did not consider them friends – for the past 7 years.

This is what it is about:

1. I inform all who know me not to send my email (or other contact details) out to ‘third parties’ without my express consent.
2. Invariably they respond something like, “Goes without saying, I would never do a thing like that!" - in a tone of disapproval at my apparent lack of trust in them.
3. Then invariably they do send out my contact details – especially my email address – to third parties without my consent. They do this by idiotically:
   1. lumping my email address with several others in the ‘To’ or ‘CC’ fields of emails – a sure way to distribute my email address to umpteen people who do not know me.
   2. Clicking the FWD (forward) button on emails forwarded to others, and leaving my email address exposed, like it's everybody's business (and it ain't)!
      
   3. submitting my email address to websites to send me links or messages – like how much intelligence does it take to realise that that is in fact giving my email address to a ‘third party’ without my consent.
4. And then they go something like, "Sorry, I eh very good with IT and computers." - as if to say that is a great explanation

But is this phenomenon about a lack of intelligence or is it more about a lack of memory or consideration for me? I have to wonder. No – many of them put it down to, “I thought it was okay….” or “Sorry I made a mistake.” – as if to say all human mistakes are excusable.

The following conversation occurred recently between me and another – small print is commentary or my thoughts at the time.

Me: Please do not submit my email address to any websites as it appeared with that [named] website. [This had happened and I happened to be in ‘chat’ with the person. I’m being very clear in what I’m saying.] Other: ok, why not? [Bloody hell, do I really have to spend time explaining that I have right to privacy and confidentiality of my contact details and I expect my ‘friends’ to honour all that? Like – no! I don’t have the time. My bloody time in concentrated and I decide how I want to spend it, like now. And the reason I’m writing all this is because I’m fascinated by the stupidity of the most ‘civilised’ species on earth – or so they like to think of themselves. So I give the short answer below.] Me: No questions....just don't Other: what? So how else can I send articles? [Oh golly gee! I’m supposed to explain it. Like I don’t want frigging articles from anywhere where my email address has to be submitted – and oh, you’re meant to send copy and paste and send it in an email to me. Bollocks.] Me: How'd you like if I send your private telephone numbers to some website...it's the same thing. Look, I don't like my contact email going to other sites and that's that. [Like do I have time in a chatroom to go into this? No. Just do as I say, for God’s sakes] Other: ok, well as you wish. But you should keep several e-mail accounts then if you're worried about privacy. [Oh right – so I’m supposed to do as you say in order to receive crap and waste my time. No – ‘why don’t you spend your time respecting my privacy’ – I’m thinking. Sorry, I don’t see why I should spend my time checking email addresses for junk. Respect for my privacy is my so-called friends business too. Why should I compensate for such a lack of consideration? I shouldn’t.] Other: Oh well, I think I'm gonna take in the news. There is a live feed of the summit on. [Well, if I sense some displeasure there then I’m paranoid. Eh?] Me: No. I decide how many email accounts I want to check. I have a right to privacy. [In other words I shall not be compensating for your lack of attention and respect for my privacy] Okay – so you might be thinking that I’m going on too much about this. Read on, then.

I go back to 02:35AM 17th August 2008.

I heard my cell phone ringing. I struggled to answer it. It is dark. I'd been jolted out of my deep slumber. I was clueless at the time to what time it was. I answered the phone: Other: "Aye, how yuh going". Me: "Ah sleepin” Other: "Oh gord...ah sorry.. ah only see yuh online so ah press dee button....ah eh watch dee time...sorry ah gorn". [I've got Skype and it's on my cellphone - so I appear online all the time. It doesn't do the auto 'away' feature like in the usual PC version.] Me: "Alright”

I get back to sleep in a few minutes, luckily. But in those few minutes - I'm thinking "Yet another blasted Trinidadian...demonstrating the same mindlessness typical of its people". No I wasn’t particularly angry whilst thinking that - more in a state of...well it's a difficult one to find words for...I guess a mixture of expectation, confusion, disappointment, puzzlement, disgust for the human condition.

Actually the caller was the same person in the conversation at the start of this blog, and the person is used to changes of time zones and international travel. So one could expect that if making a call to anyone in another country that the time zone is checked. The time zone is actually displayed after my screenname on Skype.

‘White Lies’ – just amazing

Recently I discovered ‘White Lies’ – the group. Well when I heard ‘To lose my life’ a few days ago, I thought to myself “Hey, Bowie is back!”. So it wasn’t David Bowie, but so what? These guys are just brilliant.

I mean I can’t get their songs outta my head! Like I’m having a pretty prolonged enjoyable hallucination.

So I thought I’d spread the joy.

	The lyrics on both these music-vids are thought provoking
		Lyrics
		Lyrics – see discussion here

What’s a psychiatrist?

Recently I was in the company of a colleague who is a psychiatrist (aka shrink).

We were walking into a large supermarket. He’s saying hello to the chap who’s greeting customers. The conversation goes as follows:

Chappy: So what if you don’t mind I ask do you do?

Shrink: I’m a forensic psychiatrist – which is different from a psychologist. Basically I lock up the criminally insane and provide treatment for them.

Chappy: You know…[hesitating a bit]..you know what I thought you were?

Shrink: No, tell me.

Chappy: I thought you were a doctor. You just have that look about you.

Shrink: Well a psychiatrist is a medical doctor.

Chappy: Oh so you mean you’ve studied for your doctorate and all that.

Shrink: I’m a doctor like any other medical doctor.

Chappy: Orh..r..i….g…...h…..t [the sort of spread out ‘right’ that you get from the English when they don’t know WTF is going on].

Well actually: the non-verbal context of this was that although my shrink colleague took the effort to differentiate himself from being a psychologist, he could not have expected to be differentiated from being a doctor. It still didn’t sink when he told the chappy that he was a medical doctor.

This is the way England is. People appear to have lots of intelligence but what they really have is a lot of ‘lip’. Ooooh…now I’m extrapolating too much from one incident. No – it was an extrapolation from lots of incidents; this is just one of them. Come on – I think I can expect any person of average intellect to know that a psychiatrist is a medical doctor.

If you don’t get the point – leave it alone and move on.

Judge jailed for telling a lie.

This is an amazing story! STOP EVERYTHING: Don't go to the toilet..don't walk that dog...don't go to the grocery...don't phone that friend!

This is a tragic tale of how a judge of international repute ends up in jail - for attempting to tell a little fib.

"Marcus Einfeld, the judge in question, was certainly of high enough degree - none higher. Queens Counsel since 1977, Australian Living Treasure 1997, United Nations Peace Award 2002, the list goes on. He retired a few years ago but has continually been brought back to judge important cases about refugees because the Australian legal system can't do without his experience and prestige."

Now he's doing time (2 years) in the slammer!

Click this now: The little white lie that grew

For those who wish to listen the podcast is here.

But he is defiant - stating that he wasn't dishonest that he just made a mistake.

See: Australian Telegraph 2009-03-23 And see: The Sydney Morning Herald 2009-03-28 where he asks for cell door to be left open, a psychologist and a masseuse!

What happens when it's better than free

Well tonight I had an interesting experience. I go into the local supermarket around 20:45. There's a worker in uniform at the entrance offering me free bread. It comes with a coupon that I use at the cashier to get it for FREE.

So I say thank you very much and with some glee take the bread and coupon. I get to the cashier (or check-out, or whatever you call it - goddamit). So like I check my bill after paying, as I always do. I discover that I actually got the bread at better than FREE!!

How's that you're thinking? Right - well the computer scanned it in at 10p - and I get 25p credit with the coupon. So - that means they paid me 15p for taking the bread!!

A few seconds later I'm walking out of the supermarket and I spot the same worker flogging two other pieces of bread to two youths, who are looking indecisive. So I show them my bill and say "They paid me 15p to take the bread...it's a good deal you can't lose". To which they respond by looking at me as if I'm a nutter. Well, I couldn't care a monkey's as they in England - I like being paid to take away good stuff.

Yup - It's a good loaf of granary bread! No tricks. No catches. Tastes good.

Now you want to know what supermarket is this. Well - no other than a Wal-mart store. Yup - that'll be ASDA - my favourite supermarket.

Really - I love the place. All the workers there are sooooh polite - I mean like sometimes I'm pinching myself and thinking 'Is this England...is this England?'. I go to ASDA regularly for meals, shopping, or just for a jaunt - and really I couldn't care less about who thinks that I haven't got better things to do with my time. I like good service and I've always got it from ASDA. I leave their shop, nearly always thinking to myself 'I've got a good deal'.

Well today I got a small but much better deal than I expected!