Monday, 8 September 2008

Is that ten?

At about 2008-09-08 16:00 GMT, I was at a local supermarket delicatessen counter.

So as usual I ask (in well articulated clear English at a reasonable volume), "Could I have 10 medium cut slices of the Spanish Chorizo please?"

Idiot behind the counter reaches for the Spanish Chorizo, is about to put it on the machine, then asks me, "Is that ten, yeah?"

And I go, "Yes that would be ten medium slices please."

Him: "Ten, yeah?"

Me: "Yeah, ten medium slices."

So I'm thinking while he's slicing, "Why the heck did I take the effort to speak up and to speak each word clearly? I might as well have made a grunt; that would have saved me some effort." Reality bites. This is England.

Behind counters in England you have a bunch of flesh covered robots. They're only there for the money. Their minds are elsewhere. And some of them are racist robots, so anything said by a person looking coloured or sounding a little different gets ignored - and they do a double check, just in case the person cannot speak English properly. So maybe I'm victim of that, on this occasion - I don't know. You never really know do you. let me play some English mind games for you. I'll pretend I'm English right.

Pretend English me: "Actually, he could have been very hard working chap, who is highly trained to verify each order. So he's only doing his job as he was trained. You don't have to be so hard on people all the time."

Real me: "If it was my business my staff would be trained to be attentive to customers, and listen more carefully. He should have said 'Thank you, that's ten medium slices of Spanish Chorizo coming up!"

But what's missing from this story? I'll tell you. You weren't there! You weren't witness to the vacant disinterested look in his eyes. You didn't see that he was looking at a woman's bottom as she passed by, and couldn't give a shit about my order. Oh yes, males have greater selective attention for bottoms compared to their employer's business.

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